Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

In my view, this book fails to examine the emerging scientific theories regarding the physiological causes of Narcissistic personality disorder, and does not emphasize that the narcissist is suffering from a profound mental illness with scientifically recognized multi-factorial origins. Nor does it emphasize the need for a firm diagnoses prior to drawing a conclusion about one’s mother.

Based on very minimal search engine research there is growing neuroscientific evidence, both in medical theory and through brain imaging studies, that the physiological causes of Narcissistic personality disorder may include genetic factors, or genetic predisposition coupled with profound sexual, physical or emotional abuse, or damage to the various emotional centers of the brain. The causes of this damage may include strokes, parasites, scar tissue or tumors.

In my opinion, understanding that narcissism is a mental health issue, which at this point appears to be extremely resistant to various psychological therapies, according to some psychiatric professionals, may help release many of the daughters of narcissistic mothers from self blame or the feeling that the daughter is somehow causing the mother’s behavior. It may also help them to let go of much of the confusing anger and blame that daughters of narcissists justifiably harbor toward their mothers.

The book also falls short in the area of offering examples of detailed ways for a daughter to effectively relate to a mother with narcissistic personality disorder, who is not physically abusive.

It offers suggestions on no contact or limited contact but does not offer detailed coping strategies. The books underlying message appears to be mainly geared toward giving permission for having no contact with the narcissistic mother, even in cases where no physical abuse exits.

I was hoping that this book would offer in depth guidance on how the daughter can set firm boundaries with the mother or ways that a daughter can seek a firm diagnoses for a mother they suspect of having Narcissistic Personality disorder. As well as offer detailed methods enabling the daughter to continue to interact with their mother in a productive way rather than an angry blaming manner.

In my opinion, the book seems more geared toward women who are looking for an excuse to have no contact with a possibly mentally ill mother.

In my view, this book may be harmful to woman attempting to find ways to heal a familial disconnect that this disorder has caused. Also the book fails to offer hope that if an emotionally abusive mother does not have Narcissistic personality disorder, then perhaps family counseling may help.
Rating: 1 / 5
Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

While some of the book is right on I was disappointed. I have read many online articles and found the book to be rather boring in it’s presentation. I am the victim of a narcissistic mother. I read one article and went OH MY GOD, that’s what’s wrong with me. As a matter of fact, I was in counseling and my counselor suggested that perhaps my mother was a narcissist. I went home and started reading everything I could find on the internet concerning this mental disorder. I was astonished that my entire life was destroyed by a narcissistic mother and alcoholic father.

I am now in the process of healing and forgiving myself for all of the things that I believed were my fault. I can forgive my mother in so much as she has no clue what she has done. She now lives with me and it has been absolutely miserable. I want to use this book to detach from her and have yet to read the 3rd section. The 1st and 2nd section where Ms. McBride describes the narcissist and presents questions is done quite well although I feel that there is so much more to this abusive relationship. I don’t like the examples of everyone’s experiences mixed in with the text. It gets old fast and they don’t fit everyone.

In my family I was the only child. I was told we were perfect and I believed it except for the underlying feeling that there just wasn’t something quite right. Also, my mother was a robot, taking care of me as if I were a piece of equipment. As the book states, from the outside everyone thought my mother was a perfect person. She hid everything, including the fact that my father was alcoholic. I was forbidden to tell. It would have ruined her image that she wanted to portray to her family. She provided everything but love, acceptance, validation, etc. Oh, everyone told me I had such a wonderful mother. Even my father told me that my mother was so good that he and I should be more like her. He he never hovered over her himself, as a matter of fact he couldn’t stand her continual bantering about how wonderful she was, how nothing was her fault, how wonderful her family was, etc., etc., so he got drunk!!!!! Well, he was gone getting drunk and my mom was busy making her house perfect. Oh, she took me to church and shopping. All mechanical, look what I can do things. Everyone said Marie is perfect. As I got older I wanted to GAG, when I was a teenager I told my friends…my Mom and Dad give me material things but they don’t know how to love me. Boy, I guess I was right on. Now I’m a messed up mentally, emotionally and it has ruined most of my life. This has just come to light in the last year. At the age of 52 I realize why I have No self esteem, nothing. I am trying to heal, it’s not easy with her here in the house because I still seek validation that I will never get.

I have already read most of what this book professes, however I have not read the end. If the writer took out all of the examples which are way to many of other’s experiences and put in more factual information. I call it a lot of fluff. I think half of the book has to do with experiences I didn’t necessarily share. That’s why I was upset with the writer. There is so much information on this subject and yes some of it was presented in a thorough format. Without the patient examples you could have cut the book in half. Now what? I hope the 3rd part of the book helps me more than the beginning. The funniest part of the book for me was the wife telling the husband to put “She Tried”, on her tombstone. I have been telling my husband that for years.

My mother did not tell me to be a beauty queen. Very strict on weight, should not wear makeup and neither of my parents ever told me that I was beautiful. I asked my dad why when I was in my 20’s and he told me….We didn’t want you to be conceited. Can you imagine. I was a very attractive girl and woman and my mother has never said anything until may the last 3 years to that affect. She would never say that I was prettier than her, ever.

I expected more and look forward to reading the 3rd section. If it is warranted I will post another review.
Rating: 3 / 5
Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

This book encouraged the reader to stand up for herself and tries to be kind but I found it lacking in specific insights or perhaps examples that I could relate to. Seems like the author was too close to her subject and despite self work not distanced enough to write a detached view of the dynamics of a relationship with a narcissistic family member.
Rating: 3 / 5
Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers